You've made my heart attack.......... <|3

Alright so if you read this at all you can see I've been on this humongus emotional rollercoaster for the past few weeks. Psshtt.. yeah it hasn't ended. Right now I can't even explain the pain I'm feeling. I'll start with what means least to me and then go up to what means everything...

+I have a syst in my wrist.+
yeah so thats not such a big thing .. it usually would be.. but its not. I'll probably just need an operation of some sort which is fine. And it probably is not cancer. so don't worry.. for those who care.

+Mother+
Okay the other day, she told me to go to my dads and not come back. She doesn't realize how badly she hurts me. I can't say I hate her, because she is my mother. But she just hurts me alot. And shes alot of the reason that I don't like me. But whatever I only have 4 more years of her. And 2 and half until I can legally drive. So that's ehh..whatever.

+Boy that I love+
You're still all that matters to me. No matter what you're feeling towards me. You hurt me unlike anyone. I'm impatient and I'm immature is what you tell me. And yet, I don't love you less. You emotionally have killed me, inside and out but I still love you? .. That is love. You say you dont want to know what I have to say..is that because you're scared? scared to find out that this may be it. I might be the one thing you can have for a life time? You also say you don't believe the things I say to you. Sweetheart the things I say to you are the most truth I've ever told in my life. Please don't say that they aren't. Because that means you don't trust me at all. But I thought you could "trust me completely"? Whatever happened to us. You need to let me know. Because I cannot wait forever. But I cannot live without you. I love you please don't disregard that. ♥


Okay so today I'm still at my dads. I went to church today, and actually payed attention. And I think I did for a reason. The priest said .. "Be patient with eachothers weakness'" and of course I coped that with life. I do have flaws, weakness' and wounds. just like you. You have to be patient with mine as I have to with yours. You need to understand and listen. And you know I'm always here for you to talk to. No matter what state we are at in life. I'll always love you, I'll always be here for you. And if you really want me to, I'll change my whole life around just to make you happy with me. Because all I want for you is happiness, and I'll be happy if you are. You are my life don't you get it? By ending us ... you'll end me.


your arms in mine, anytime
i wouldn't trade anything
you're still my everything
to my surprise, before my eyes, you arrive
don't worry i'll catch you
don't ever worry
i'm still breaking old habits when you pulled the wool over me
♥♥♥